i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
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