Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
