We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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