I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Randomize
