I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
