also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize