just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
