then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
