Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
