New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
