If i come over, it means nothing
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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