I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I think my vagina is haunted
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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