i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I want to be your penis for a week.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
