I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
