apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
