operation harelip BJ is a go
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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