Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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