Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's blow job season.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
