alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
