I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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