His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
