How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
