white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
