You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
