So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
