I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize