And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
