No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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