Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Sober January is a disaster.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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