She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
no you cant smoke seaweed
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize