best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
