I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize