tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize