NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
