Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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