Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
