We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
