Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
