You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
