I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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