I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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