She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
