Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
