You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
