So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
