"it" just moved
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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