Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
