hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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