STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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