I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
