I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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