i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize