If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
