Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i drank out of a bidet.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
