and you said cock pushups were impossible
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
