Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
