laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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