If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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