So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
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