I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize