My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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