Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
