The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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