he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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