Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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