what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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