we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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