You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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