I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Let's get the cat blown out
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
