I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
