he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
