I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
